#1 Being Human
Being human feels like the most tremendous gift when I tenderly hold my newborn twins in my arms, overflowing with awe and gratitude that I get to be their mom.
Being human feels like utter torture when my voice is so dismissed and gaslit that I don’t know what it feels like to be respected and heard until I am in my 50s.
Being human feels like wonder when I am silent, listening to nature’s many voices… rustling leaves, birdsong, the river flowing steady, fish jumping, geese landing, frogs croaking, bugs chirping.
Being human feels embarrassing and goofy when bodies fall apart from age or misuse and we have to humble ourselves and trade care with another human.
Being human feels tender and full of grace when sitting at the bedside of an ill father as he loses his ability to preach and I see the pain and resignation in his distant eyes.
Being human feels exhausting when the mental load is too often imbalanced and I cannot fathom how to explain the overwhelm in a way that will elicit change
Being human feels precious sinking my hands in the soil, feeling Mother Earth nourish the garden and me.
Being human feels unfair when children are abused instead of recognized as the holy beings they always are and the great wisdom we can learn from loving them with everything we are.
Being human feels frightening and exhilarating when perceived control is lost and disease, disaster or death approaches.
Being human feels ridiculous when I know what is good for me, but inertia keeps me resisting.
Being human feels miraculous when in the present moment, the adult me goes back in time to rescue younger me, shifting the experience of now, watching ripples move throughout the illusion of time.
Being human feel maddening, an incredulity so deep one starts to question one’s sanity, when hate motivates the hearts of men and women, when fear dictates violence and greed decides the fate of the world.
Being human feels cleansing when I allow the river of grief to pour from my body without clenching in resistance, grasping in terror or pushing in desperation to avoid it.
Being a human feels joyful when gazing into the eyes of an animal, feeling its fur, its tongue on your face, its undying love for you as you are.
There is something magical in the acknowledgment. Sitting with these images and exploring how it feels to be human without judgment or labels or declarations of what these things mean is setting something free inside of me. Religion taught me that everything about the human experience was judgable as blessing or curse. Nature taught me that everything is seasons of life and death cycling. Being human is holy. There is no great judge in the sky sending out blessings or punishments depending on how we act. There are natural consequences to choices and natural processes of being an earth being. All of life is sacred. The god that judges is man, terrified of the carelessness he has taken with earth and with life. GOD is the light that animates every cell in tree, dog, and child.
I leave behind voices of judgment. I leave behind shoulds and musts. I leave behind false ideologies that say anyone has authority over my spirit. I leave behind certainty and safety. I leave behind systems stale and cold.
I step into love for myself, room to be me and to celebrate all of this experience. I step into green, lush connection with nature, because I am nature too! I return to my roots and to the abundance of this life when honoring reciprocity between myself and everything else. I step onto palms of ancestors inviting me into the freedom of releasing stories. I step into wildness, the me once masked, free to be untamable. I step into crone energy, not giving a shit what others think and finding my humor and my rage as they are called for.
I find freedom within the trust I build for myself. Being present and slow result in confidence in my ability to respond to anything that comes up. Love is the lens I choose to see through. Love for myself and the earth, as I am an extension of her, naturally flows outside of separation and fear. Being human outside of norms that discriminate, control and suppress means freedom to be the you you were meant to be. Come, join me.